KURT NOLLERS- MODERN ART SUPERSTAR
PROFILE
Kurt Nollers is arguably Britain’s most famous contemporary artist.
His controversial work provokes horror and delight in equal measure,
ensuring constant ‘A’ list recognition in both the highbrow and gutter press.
However things havn’t always been so……..
Flashback a decade and humble art student Colin Knowles is standing in the
admin. office of Skancton Art College discussing his subsidized travel allowance
with the secretary.
“Ive stuck all my daily bus tickets onto this board with all the dates and prices so you can work out my claim”
mumbles Colin from behind a curtain of lank hair.
At that moment, Colin’s radical tutor Martin Rant bowls in and before Colin can protest……….
“Colin….great work man. Entering it for the Liverpool Open? ..very Kurt Schwitters y’know…German modernism…groovy.
Best thing I’ve seen you do…talk about it later in the pub mate.”
Martin dashes out of the office leaving Colin staring dumfounded at his ‘bus ticket art’
The pub. Only the really cool students hung out with the tutors in the pub.
He thinks of all his mediocre life drawings and failed potting wheel attempts.
“Kurt Schwitters” he whispers to himself. “Never heard of him but what a great name…
I wish I had a name like that …better than Colin Knowles”
At that moment two students skylarking with a football rush past the office.
“..ball hit him right in the Nollers” laughs one to the other.
“Knowles..Nollers..Knowles…Knowles ..Nollers..” thinks Colin.
Suddenly it clicks. No more pathetic attempts at drawing, no more humiliating crits.
From now on he would only do outrageous modern art.
He’d change his appearance and change his name to one worthy of an artist with the balls to take on the establishment .
In short he’d become KURT NOLLERS- MODERN ART SUPERSTAR.
“Are you all right Colin” said the secretary “you look a bit flushed”
“ I’m cool “ he replied “ and the name’s Kurt”.
Anonymous Bosh